%20copy.png)
The Silent Battle: Crushing Stress and Self-Doubt Before They Crush You
In case you missed the past two playbooks, this is Part 3 of our series on “How to get unstuck.”
Part 1: Shift Your Perspective
Part 2: Start Taking Action
Part 3: How to Master Stress (today)
Each part walks through different stages you face when life or work has you stuck in your tracks. It addresses how to reshape your thinking, start taking action, and how to manage stress along the way.
Let’s dive in…
The Hidden Tax You're Paying Daily
Few forces are as universally destructive as stress and self-doubt.
They’re the invisible barriers standing between where you are and where you could be.
They can kill productivity, sabotage relationships, and destroy dreams.
A Harvard Business School study found that stress and self-doubt are responsible for up to 40% of our mental bandwidth being wasted on any given day. (That’s like… a lot)
When stress meets self-doubt, you often get stuck in a brutal cycle:
- Stress triggers your fight-or-flight response
- Your cognitive abilities literally diminish
- Self-doubt creeps in as you perform below your potential
- This increases your stress levels further
- Rinse, repeat, more stress
The problem isn't you. It's a combination of neuroscience, your relationship with stress, and a lack of tools to shift from a negative to a positive mindset.
The Science Behind Stress
Ever wonder why stress and self-doubt feel so overwhelming?
It's not your imagination—it's your neurochemestry.
When stress hits, your amygdala (the brain's alarm system) activates your fight-or-flight response. This floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline, which:
- Reduces blood flow to your prefrontal cortex (your "thinking brain")
- Narrows your attention to focus only on threats
- Impairs your ability to think creatively or see the bigger picture
Self-doubt compounds this problem by triggering what neuroscientists call the "Default Mode Network"—the brain circuit responsible for self-referential thinking.
When active, this brain network increases negative thoughts.
The result? A cognitive trap where you're simultaneously:
- Too flustered to think clearly
- Geared towards negative thinking
BUT, there’s good news… reframing your “stress” mindset can turn it into a superpower.
The 3-2-1 Reset Method: Your New Operating System
Stress is relative. What’s stressful to me, may not be to you, and visa versa.
From my perspective, I’ve gone through my share of stressful moments raising 4 kids while building two companies.
Through a combination of research, trial and error, and advice, I've developed what I call the 3-2-1 Reset Method.
It’s the 3-step approach I use for breaking the stress-doubt cycle and reclaiming mental clarity.
3 Steps to Reframe Stress
When you feel that familiar wave of panic starting to build:
1. Get Physical
The fastest way to break a stress spiral is through physical movement. Your body and mind are connected, and changing your physical state will rapidly alter your mental state.
Do pushups, lift weights, go running… anything to jack up your heart rate.
What matters isn't the specific exercise but the complete change in your body's positioning and the spike in oxygen.
Why it Works: This triggers a release of endorphins and breaks your body’s physiological stress response by providing an outlet for the adrenaline being produced.
2. The 90-Second Reset
Harvard Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Taylor discovered that the chemical response of an emotion physically flushes through our bodies in about 90 seconds.
Which means:
- “Stress event” triggers a chemical reaction in your body
- This chemical reaction tells your body how to react and feel
- After 90 sections, these chemicals are flushed through your system
Any emotional response beyond those 90 seconds?
That’s you CHOOSING to stay in an emotional loop.
This explains why breaking negative patterns feels so hard — your brain is designed to keep you in place.
Do This: Set a timer for 90 seconds. During this time, focus exclusively on the physical sensations of the emotion—the tightness in your chest, your breathing, the tension in your neck—without creating a story about why you feel this way. When 90 seconds is up, acknowledge that your biochemical reaction is over, and the choice is now in your control.
Why it Works: By observing the physical sensations without judgment, you allow the stress chemicals to process through your system instead of amplifying them with exaggerated thinking.
3. The Single Focus Shift (STFU… and GO!)
Stress and self-doubt thrive when your attention is scattered across multiple concerns.
This final step is my favorite go-to for radically shifting your mindset, and taking action.
I learned it from a former special forces operator who had faced genuinely life-threatening situations. When I asked him how he handled moments when everything in his mind and body was screaming to shut down—when he was under fire and training wasn't automatically kicking in—his answer was simple and direct:
“I tell myself, SHUT THE FUCK UP… AND GO.”
Then he would take the immediate next action that moved things forward. No analysis paralysis. No second-guessing. Just one next step.
If that worked for him in truly terrifying situations, I knew it was worth trying in my extremely tame (by comparison) stressful work and personal moments.
How to Do It: When overwhelmed, firmly say to yourself "STFU... and GO!" This shifts your brain from rumination to action. Then identify the single next action you can tackle within the next 5 minutes that would move you forward, no matter how small. Write it down. Set all other concerns aside, and focus exclusively on completing that one action.
Why it Works: This creates an immediate "small win" that breaks through paralysis and generates forward momentum. The act of writing down your next step physically moves the problem from the emotional part of your brain (the amygdala) to the logical, solution-oriented part (the prefrontal cortex). The simplicity is what makes it powerful—when stress and doubt have you spinning, the answer isn't more analysis but decisive action.
Changing Your Relationship With Stress
In a study by Dr. Alia Crum at Stanford University, she discovered the way you think about stress — your stress mindset — dramatically changes how stress affects your performance, health, and growth.
There are two stress mindsets:
- Stress-is-enhancing (~30% of people naturally)
- Stress-is-debilitating (~70% of people naturally)
The “stress-is-enhancing” mindset is linked to:
- Greater focus and energy under pressure
- Better emotional resilience
- Higher work performance
- Improved physical health markers (like cortisol patterns)
It’s not that people with a stress-is-enhancing mindset experience less stress — they still face stress.
The difference is how they use it: They channel stress toward growth, energy, and action instead of rumination or withdrawal.
GOOD NEWS: You can train yourself towards a Stress-is-enhancing mindset.
Recognize Stress as a Resource
When you feel your heart beating faster, don't think: "I'm so stressed, this is terrible." Instead, think: "My body is energizing me to meet this challenge." These physical sensations are your body's way of helping you perform.
Some helpful reframes:
- Racing heart → Your body is pumping more oxygen to your brain
- Quickened breathing → You're taking in more oxygen to think clearly
- Butterflies in stomach → Your body is diverting resources to critical systems
- Muscle tension → You're preparing for action
The goal isn't to eliminate stress—it's to transform your relationship with it.
Stress isn't inherently good or bad. It's a response that can either work for you or against you, depending on how you perceive it.
1 Weekly Ritual for Mental Clarity
The Sunday Reset
To maintain your mental operating system and prevent stress buildup:
How to do it: Block 30 minutes every Sunday for this four-part process:
- Brain Dump: Write down everything on your mind without organizing or filtering
- Week Preview: Identify the 3 most important outcomes for the coming week
- Calendar Alignment: Ensure your calendar reflects those priorities
- Environment Setup: Prepare your physical and digital spaces to support your week
Why it Works: This ritual gives you control over your week instead of letting the week control you. By getting ahead of potential stressors, you build momentum and confidence.
Remember This
Stress and self-doubt aren't character flaws—they're normal human experiences that require systems to handle them productivly.
The next time you feel that familiar wave of panic or that voice of questioning, remember: you have a proven system for turning these challenges into opportunities.
Your future self will thank you.
Until next week!
Subscribe to
Get one powerful growth playbook, every Saturday morning.
Related Articles
One powerful growth playbook, delivered every Saturday morning
